Wait for the click. Only you can hear it.

There comes a time...be it with jobs, relationships, whatever...that you just know when you're done.

You might know for a while that the end is coming, but you can't quite bring yourself to break away from it just yet...you still have some unfinished business, maybe, or you're not quite ready to transition to whatever the next thing may be.

It's like the athlete whose been in the league for twenty years and everyone wonders when he's gonna retire. Kobe. Tim Duncan. Kevin Garnett (can you tell I love the NBA?), and I'm sure countless other athletes in other sports...they all had long, (sometimes) successful careers. But as they got later on in those careers, there were the mumblings of 'how much longer is he gonna do this?'...'is he still effective/can he still contribute?'...or just flat-out 'when the heck is he gonna retire??'

Those athletes knew when it was time to hang it up. It's like a click; it goes off when it goes off. And nobody heard it but them. They reached a point where they just knew...it was time. And they could be at peace with it because they did things in their own time and didn't let anybody else dictate when their end should be.

Listen for that click. You'll know when you hear it.

I was in a relationship a few years back that I thought was the be all-end all...I just knew that I had hit the jackpot with him. We were planning to get married and I was on top of the world.

Then he dumped me. In an email, no less.

Needless to say, I was devastated. And it took me a long time to get over it. There were so many times that I thought that he had or would change his mind and come back to me, but I was always left with the proverbial egg on my face. (And I hate eggs).

Then one day, six or seven years after he dumped me, I heard that click. I knew that he and I were never gonna happen again.

I'll admit that over time, after I had begun dating again, I always held out hope. My mind would automatically compare every other man to him. I just knew, that one day, we would end up back together. But when I heard that click, I knew that was it. It was over. And I was fine with it because I knew that I had done everything I possibly could have done. And also, that the demise of the relationship wasn't on me. I had proven myself, pleaded my case, been patient, honest, loyal, faithful, etc...if he still didn't want me after all that, then I didn't need him.

It took years, but I finally heard that click.

Other people might try to tell you when you should be done with something, or when you should walk away, but no one can make that decision for you. No one can hear that click but you. You have to be the one to decide because, if you jump the gun too early, I can almost guarantee you'll regret it. There will be what-ifs, if-onlys, and coulda-shoulda-wouldas, and those suck. You don't want those.

Be at peace with your own decisions.

You know when you've done all you can do. You know when you've had enough. You know when you get to the point where the consequences or changes of leaving a situation are worth it. But only you know that.

That click is like turning out the light on the old stuff and knowing you're ready to move to the light of the new stuff. Don't let anybody try to push you out if you're not ready.


#loveandbooks

This is NOT the End of the World

Me again.

So I get a word-of-the-day on my Dictionary app, and the word for today was Syncretism.

"The attempted reconciliation or union of different or opposing principles, practices, or parties, as in philosophy or religion."

How fitting.

I don't have to say what happened today; we all know. It's been all over every social media site, news program, newspaper, water cooler conversation, and anywhere else it could be discussed. (Just in case you're just getting back from Mars or have been camped out under a rock, I'm referring to the presidential election results).

Now, I don't usually post about political stuff. And one of the reasons I don't is because it's so divisive. A lot of people don't seem to have the ability (or desire) to disagree cordially; there has to be name-calling, finger-pointing, degradation, and all this other unnecessary nonsense.

I don't care for that. So I stay out of it.

A few years ago, during President Obama's first term, I wrote a blog-say (blog/essay) titled 'I Don't Like Politics.' The gist of the blog-say was that I despise all the mud-slinging, diversion from the issues, and pointless minutiae that clogs most electoral campaigns. All of the hatred spewed towards President Obama, and for what reason? What has he really done to deserve that? And he's still getting it (remember the people with the President Obama mask and the noose at the University of Wisconsin football game just last month?).

And now, the same thing is happening again...and this time, it's not only towards the president-elect, a lot of it has been from the president-elect.

There is no syncretism. And there probably won't be.

You would think that things like opposing police brutality, discrimination, racism, unequal pay, etc. would be things that we could all agree on, regardless of what political party we sided with. But shockingly (or not), that's not the case.

All day on Facebook today, I've seen arguments, debates, calls for action, prayers, long soliloquies about how we're now doomed, and everything else. And while I am certainly not happy about how the election turned out...I'm kinda over it.

I voted. The person I voted for didn't win. It is what it is. That's not to say I don't care, 'cause I do. I'm in this country. But I simply choose to expend my energy on things I can control, and that's raising my son, writing my books, building my business, expanding my knowledge, and living my life as I was before last night.

My trust is in God, not the president. Regardless of who it may be.

So no, we probably won't have syncretism any time soon. People seem to be more divided than ever, and the divide will probably widen before it narrows. But, in my opinion at least, this is not the end of the world. We've survived a lot of things in this country, and we will survive this.

Until next time...

#lovewords