Late-Night Musings

It's two in the morning and I'm perched on the often-unused end of my wonderful couch, mindlessly watching Food Network and trying to ignore the rumbling in my stomach (which means I'm probably watching the wrong channel...just turned to Frasier). I know part of the reason is because I fell asleep when I got home and got up around three hours ago. But the biggest part is because I just can't seem to get my mind to stop jumping.

It has been an interesting last few days. I'm doing a 20 day Full Body Cleanse and my diet is limited to raw fruits, vegetables and nuts, basically (and a whole lot of herbs). I wanted to do it because I've been feeling rather whale-ish lately thanks to stress-eating everything in sight and not caring, and I do feel better, but I miss seafood and sweets and other delicious things. Someone offered me hash browns today at work and I had to decline. Then someone else came around with chocolate cake. Twice. It's like I'm wearing a sign.

So...I'm a little on edge about that. I've been digging into Pinterest looking for more recipes that fit into these guidelines so I won't get bored. I can only have so much salad.

In other news...I'm anxiously awaiting the release of my next book, Take One For the Team. I'm so excited...it's always thrilling putting out another work. I'm already working on the sequel. Check out the synopsis:

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Van Roseland is a single mother who doesn't know what it feels like to relax, thanks to a set of twins and mountain of debt given to her by her deceased fiancé. Her boyfriend Joe is a hardworking, loving man who is perfect in just about every way...except financially. Thanks to his spiteful ex, he's unable to contribute as much as either he or Van would like him to. And Van starts wondering more and more if love is enough.

Grant McCallister has always been more successful in business than he's been in his personal life. He's preferred to just remain alone rather than deal with women who only want him for his millions. But after a chance meeting with Van, he begins to think he's finally found what he's been waiting for and resorts to somewhat shady tactics to get close to her, believing she's worth it.

Before too long, Van is on a roller coaster of emotions as her feelings and attraction for Grant deepen that has her questioning everything, especially her own personal morals. Some of her closest relationships are tested and after a while, Van has no idea what she's doing. She loves her some Joe, but she can't help wanting a better life for her children...

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Love or money...classic. :)


Aside from that, it's been kind of a rough week but I'm trying to deal with it best I can. I try to keep in mind that things could always be a lot worse and there are people with way bigger and more serious problems than I've got. I'll admit that doesn't always do the trick but it usually does.

I'm wide awake but I'm suddenly overcome with the urge to just sit here with a can of cashews while watching something that will hopefully make me laugh.

Just Push the Button, Already

So...it's after three in the morning, and I'm sitting up watching the replay of the Clippers/Rockets game like I don't have to work both jobs today, starting in less than four hours. I should have been asleep hours ago, especially knowing that I overslept last week more days than I didn't.

But I'm keyed up and wired right now. Why, you ask? Because I just sent my final draft of my sixth book, Take One For the Team, off to the publisher. I've been working on the final edits this past week (maybe at least part of the reason for all the oversleeping) and I took my time to make sure it's just how I want it. And even though I've had this book written, with the chosen ending in place, for a while now, I agonized over it tonight. I kept going back and forth about if I wanted to end it this way or that way, or delete the entire last chapter altogether. I re-read the same paragraphs over and over, just knowing I was missing something. I was actually biting my nails, which I never do. Before I hit that SEND button, I wanted to be sure it was my idea of perfect.

I get like this whenever I send a book off, but for some reason I was amplified tonight. I don't even know why. But I was actually nervous and was taking deep breath after deep breath, wondering if I should leave it as it was or tweak it one final time. Indecisiveness has always been one of my flaws, and it certainly reared it's ugly head tonight. My son, who had woken up as I worked due to a bad dream, encouraged me after I had calmed him down from that...he suggested I flip a coin, told me how he thought I should end it, then finally just said, "Just make a decision, Mom."

Just push the button, already.

So I did. I trusted my gut that the ending should be left as it was and hit that darn SEND button, actually squealing as I did so. No turning back now (at least, not without a lot of hassle). You'll get to see what I decided on for the ending in a couple of months, hopefully. My son commended me, saying I handled that "like a boss." :)

Now I'm anxious to get going on the sequel. When I wrote the book (the first draft of which was completed in 2012), this was just going to be a standalone story, but the more I read it, the more I realized there was plenty more story left to tell, especially with the way I ended it. And after the way I left my readers hanging in Not By a Long Shot, I listened to the feedback (and the fussing lol) and wrote the sequel to that, Decisions and Consequences. And I've actually already begun the outline for a sequel to Take One For the Team anyway, but now I'm even more eager to write it. I'm excited and I love it.

I should go on to bed. I can work on the sequel later but there's nothing like the feeling of plowing ahead and burying yourself in a project, despite the fact that you're depriving yourself of sleep you need and nourishment you don't want to stop and get. I'm already looking forward to when I can hit that SEND button on another one; there's not many feelings like it.

Golden Girls is on...I'll just take a peek at my sequel notes and then lay down. Maybe.

I LOVE Lazy Weekends...

I don't get many lazy weekends at all. Heck, I don't get many lazy days. Being a single mother working two (plus) jobs, days where I get to do absolutely nothing are at a premium. And I was about due.

So this past Friday, I took the day off from both jobs and asked my sister to take my son to school, which meant I got to SLEEP IN. This is a rare luxury for me and I absolutely, positively loved it. What I didn't mean to do, however, was sleep all day. I didn't get up until five in the afternoon. But oh well...it's not like I had anywhere to be. Other than going to get my son from Boys and Girls Club, I didn't leave the house. I just camped out on my sofa from heaven and played Sims.

Saturday I did go to work, but I only stayed part of the day because I had a previous engagement. But I was still very tired and decided to take a nap beforehand (which I should know better than to do, since I never seem to want to get up from naps) and I ended up not even going to that engagement. I turned my alarm off and rolled right back over. Then after I got up, I made an apple pie before spending the rest of the evening camped out on my heavenly sofa playing Sims.

Today, I overslept and missed church (which I'm not proud of) and I turned on Food Network while I camped out on my God-sent sofa and played Sims. I did get up and do some productive stuff (laundry, dinner) but then I parked it yet again on my sofa-that-should-be-dipped-in-bronze and watched the Spring Baking Championship on Food Network with my son.

It's also been quite a sports weekend...my Hawks knocked out the Nets and moved on to the second round of the NBA playoffs (then we lost in the first game today to the Wizards, but I'm not gonna let that faze me); there was the NFL draft (which I only watched the first round of but I did enjoy it), baseball and hockey (no interest), the Kentucky Derby (even less interest), and the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight (which I certainly wasn't going to pay for and didn't care enough about to go anywhere else to watch). I've enjoyed the NBA playoffs and game 7 of the Clippers/Spurs series was EPIC...hard to believe that was just a first round game. That whole series was intense but I'm glad the Clippers took it...I'm not a Spurs fan, but I respect their professionalism and sportsmanship.

The only thing that would have made this weekend better was if I had a shirtless, ripped chocolate Adonis in my kitchen cooking and feeding it to me, and then rubbing my feet as I basked in the 'itis.' And playing in my hair as we sat on my celestial sofa while I played Sims.

It's been a great weekend. This is the closest I'll get to a vacation for a while, probably, so I'm savoring these last few hours of nothingness before I'm back to the regularly scheduled program at 7:00 AM tomorrow.

Until next time...

20 Random JT Tidbits

Helloooo...

So I'm sitting here, just having gotten home from my second job and watching some postgame commentary from the Clippers/Spurs game (I'm pulling for the Clippers...complimentary random fact) and thought that while I'm sitting here, why not do something moderately productive and give some attention to my blog, which I know I'm not very diligent with.

BUT, since I'm quite tired right now and don't have a deep, thought-provoking topic in mind, I thought I'd keep it light and just share some random things you all might or might not know about me. Maybe you'll find it interesting. If not, well...not too much I can do about that. :)

So, here they are, in no particular order:

1. I do not like leather furniture.

2. My favorite scent is Clean Linen. I get my air freshener, carpet cleaner, fabric softener, car vent clips, everything I can in that scent. It's awesome.

3. Putting whipped cream, salt, or excess cheese on something is just as good as ruining it for me. I absolutely hate all three of those. (And ketchup, too, most of the time).

4. Hairy chests on men are something of a turn-off. But not a deal-breaker.

5. I actually LOVED being pregnant. If I could be a surrogate for someone, I'd absolutely do it.

6. Tank is my favorite male singer; Anita Baker is my favorite female singer; Dru Hill and Jodeci are tied for my favorite group.

7. My voice has always been my least-favorite feature about myself. If I had ten dollars for every time I've been called 'sir' I could quit my second job.

8. I've never travelled internationally.

9. Do not give me eggs, mashed potatoes, oatmeal, grits, just about any kind of beans (except baked and green), liver, mac and cheese, or dark meat. I don't care for those at all (though I will eat dark meat before I'll eat any of the rest of that stuff).

10. I actually kind of enjoy vacuuming.

11. Once ice cream goes soft, I don't want it anymore.

12. I was born at Crawford Long Hospital in Atlanta, GA.

13. My major in college was Sport Management.

14. I've never colored my hair. I actually like my grey. (Sub-fact: I've had grey hair since I was sixteen).

15. Modern Family is one of my favorite shows.

16. I sleep on my couch more than I do in my bed. My couch is heaven.

17. Sims is my all-time favorite video game. I can waste serious time playing that.

18. Coffee and tea are only tolerable to me if they're flavored. Even then neither would be my beverage of choice. (I drink water 95% of the time).

19. French fries are my ultimate weakness. I could eat them every single day, multiple times a day. Just don't put salt on them. (I also adore roasted potatoes).

20. I'm not ticklish.


I could probably come up with more but I'll leave it at that. Gotta save some stuff for later, right? :)


I'm going to put it on my calendar to do another blog this week. I'm doing it right now...okay, done.

Well, I'm gonna go back to chilling and getting my mind ready for another work week. I probably should make some dinner or something, too.

Moving and Writing and Tweeners

Hello people. I've been MIA for a minute because there's just been so much going on that blogging hasn't exactly been at the top of my to-do list. Shame on me.

But for those that care, I'm getting myself back together. One of the biggest things I've been dealing with has been my recent move. My son and I moved across town and even though I've moved before, I don't remember it being this stressful. I severely underestimated how long it was going to take and the stress I was going to incur from it; I (stupidly) thought it was going to be a piece of cake. But I was so, so wrong. You accumulate so much stuff over the years that you don't even realize everything you have when it's time to pick up and move it. Purging and cleaning and laundering and tossing and packing took way more out of me than I thought it would. But we finally got it done...then came the unpacking. Whole 'nother story altogether (let's just say it's been over a month and there are still a couple of boxes that I stuck in a closet so I wouldn't have to look at them. I'll find somewhere to put their contents eventually).

So aside from that, I've been working on finishing my latest book, Grown and Forbidden, which I just did in the last week or so. There's nothing like the rush of completing a book you've hunched over your computer working on for weeks (or months). I can't wait to put out my 6th book, Take One for the Team, which is the story of a tired single mother who must choose between love or money. This was a fun one to write, and I'm already playing around with a possible sequel. But I might leave it as it is, due to the ending. Don't know yet. :)

My other books are doing well...do you have yours?

Some Like 'em Thick

 

It's All Right...Now

 

 

 

 

Not By a Long Shot

 

 

 

Get Right

 

 

Decisions and Consequences

 

 

 

My fingers are itching to start on the next one (or rather, continue it because I'm already a chapter or so in), but in the meantime, I'm working on some other necessary things (i.e. promotion). There's always something to do but thankfully, I happen to love this stuff. :)

So in addition to this awesomeness, I'm dealing with having a pre-teen son (or a tweener, as I think they're also called). He's going to be twelve this year and is growing body hair and wants privacy when he didn't before, and has announced his intentions to stay with his current "girlfriend" years from now. I can't say I'm looking forward to the day he brings some little chickadee home to meet me, but I know that day will be here before I know it. It already seems like just yesterday that he was crawling around the house and still small enough for me to pick up (he's almost as tall as I am now). He's still getting acclimated to the extra chores he's been graced with since the move...I've already had the fun of waking him up at the wee hours of the morning because he didn't wash all the dishes or clean the bathroom properly. I can't tell you how  many times my mother did that to me and my older sister when we were growing up (mostly for the dishes...we were not to leave them unwashed overnight). And that phone I got him for his last birthday stays glued to his hand. I wonder if I would have been like that if cell phones were as in as they are now back when I was his age. I didn't even get a pager until I was maybe eighteen or nineteen and my first cell phone was a Tracfone I won playing Bingo when I was twenty-something.

So, anyway, pray for me. lol


Oh, look at the time...I need to get ready for the night job. It's been real...until next time, people. :)

Relieve Yourself of the Bathroom Shame

Okay, so...I know I haven't posted in a while and this is a heck of a subject to come back on, but...

Why are so many ladies hesitant to use the bathroom at work?

In an effort to maintain at least some modicum of decorum I'll keep it classy, but just know when I say 'using the bathroom' (hereafter referred to as UTB), I'm not talking about peeing. I'm talking about the other thing you do in there.

I've been working in offices for years now and I've noticed that some women go out of their way to cover up the fact that they've had to UTB at work. And I admit it's not the most pleasant thing to be associated with, but really. What's the big deal? It's something everybody does...it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Heck, if you're not doing it, you might want to get yourself checked out. But women will go to an entirely different floor to use the bathroom, or stay in their stall forever waiting for the bathroom to empty before they come out, so no one will know they're the ones that emptied their bowels and left that bodily scent in the air. Or even more ridiculous, they wait until they get home. And I admit, I've been guilty of all of these. But now, I really don't care. It's amazing the freedom that comes with that.

This freedom was a long time coming. Back in the day, I remember when I was in elementary or middle school, and I had to UTB at school one time. I tried to hurry up and get out of there before anybody else came in, but I wasn't quick enough. Someone else came in (and I won't name names, even though I remember exactly who it was due to the mild trauma it caused) and called me out in front of a few other people. I was extremely embarrassed. I think that's where my complex/phobia about UTB in public started.

But now I'm an adult and I don't have time to be ducking and dodging whenever I have to UTB. I have next to no bathroom shame. I go in there, do my business, and get out. If someone wants to talk about me because of that, so be it. It is what it is. I recall one time a couple of years ago when I was about to walk into the bathroom and a co-worker was coming out, and warned me that I might not want to go in there 'cause someone just blew it up (which is what some people call it when you UTB). I didn't have much of a response. I don't like smelling the effects of that any more than anybody else, but...isn't that what you're supposed to do in the bathroom? Isn't that what bathrooms are for? I know how to hold my breath if I need to.

Why do we, as grown women, have to be embarrassed about something that's natural? And why do we have to try to make people ashamed of it or ridicule them for it? I mean, for real...let's grow up. It's the bathroom, not the kitchen or a lounge. You don't go in there to eat or hang out or anything else. You go in there to relieve yourself of fluids and waste. None of that is going to smell like potpourri. Get over it.


Until next time, people...

Weak Men to the Left

I know I haven't blogged in a little while (and I won't bore you with why that is) but this particular subject has been on my mind for a little while and I knew the next blog I wrote was going to be about this.

Now, let me get this on out of the way up front; I LOVE MEN. Love 'em. This is not a man-bashing post or any of that nonsense. But it is bringing attention to something that I find itchingly irksome.

There are way too many weak men. 

Let me explain what I mean. Now, I love my fellow sistas...I'm all for women's empowerment and a having an adequate level of independence and going for yours and all that. And some might not appreciate what I'm gonna say, but oh well.

One thing I've noticed is that in our constant struggle to be taken more seriously and be that strong woman that we are often situationally forced to be, we tend to emasculate the men around us. Sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. But too many times, it is. I've seen it firsthand so I'm not just pulling stuff out of the sky, here. Women get to enjoying the smell of their own perfume and perspiration a little too much and start getting a little too big for their tailored britches. We make the men in our lives think that they're inferior, that we don't need them, even that we're doing them some kind of favor by even being there.

But what's even worse is, the men allow this to happen. Dudes can be absolute beasts at work or anywhere else, but when they get around their women, they're like puppies. Women are often the heads of the household or the outspoken ones while the men just kind of hang in the back.

This isn't what I'm used to. I know times are different now, but when I was coming up, it was known that while my mother might have had the more in-your-face personality, my father ran things. Period. He was the head. We deferred to him. He asked for my mother's input, not her permission. And when I see how things have gone so far from this lately, it irritates me. Sometimes I just want to shake these men and scream "Where the *bleep* is your backbone?? Man up!"

I believe that art imitates life, even if it's just to a certain extent. And when I'm watching television, even the commercials, you see examples of what I'm talking about all the time:

A couple gets an insurance check and the wife snatches it out of her husband's hand and walks off with it.
A wife turns her husband's man cave into a mom cave.

Men automatically accepting the blame and apologizing for things they may or may not even be at fault for, just to keep the peace (or to still be able to get some at the end of the night).

Men that know they are in the right but always end up caving because they're so freakin' whipped. Maybe to some women this is a turn-on or something, but to me, it's a repellent. I do not want a man I can walk all over. I love and respect a man who can admit when he's wrong, but I also appreciate a man who has the balls to check me when I am, too, and we just don't see enough examples of that.

And with as much television as kids and teens watch nowadays, that's how they think it should be. Life begins to imitate art. Plenty of times I've seen little girls try to boss little boys around, and the boys just take it. Like Rudy and Bud on the Cosby Show. Clair might have set Rudy straight on that in that instance, but not enough women are are doing the same to other little girls.

And I mention this example in the Cosby Show, but there have also been examples on there between Cliff and Clair where it infuriated me how Cliff let Clair tell him what to do or have the final say or dictate what's going to be done, despite his objections. And he just let her do it. 

Look, there's nothing wrong with being strong. As women, we have to be. We've been discriminated against and overlooked so much in so many ways that in our efforts to be taken seriously and seen as equals, we've kind of gone overboard with it. I have a son, and that's enough; I want my man to be a man, not like another child I have to check after and boss around. Women often scold men like they scold their children, or give them the evil eye until they concede or start withholding stuff like sex until the get their way. Frankly (and excuse my language), this is some bulls**t. I wouldn't want a man that would let me do that. Dude, don't just throw your hands up and give in because you don't want to argue. Stand your freakin' ground. Now, don't go all to the left with it and try to be a dictator or anything like that, but you're supposed to be in this thing together.

Now I'm gonna say something else my sistas might not like but, again, oh well:

Women, it's not all about us. 

We cannot always get our way. We shouldn't always have to have the last word. You're not any less of a strong woman if you admit that you're wrong (in fact, you're more so). Your man telling you 'no' doesn't mean he doesn't love you. And even if you come with the good job-good sense-good sex package, that doesn't mean you're a prize that can't be given back. Recognize that being submissive doesn't mean being weak or inferior. Quit trying to be the 'bad bitch' and focus on being the helpmeet to your man.  

A lot of people regale low self-esteem to being a women's problem but please believe, men suffer from it, too. And especially if they've never had many girlfriends coming up or they don't think much of themselves, they might be so blown away that anyone wants them at all that they're willing to accept anything.

The show The Big Bang Theory is an excellent example of this. I love the show overall, but those men are so used to being bullied and walked on that they let the women around them talk to them any kind of way and get away with just about anything. Every now and then they'll put a little steel in their spine but usually, they're doormats. I can't say how many times I've screamed "Punk!" at the television screen when Leonard caved in to Penny about something or other. Or heck, when they've given in to Sheldon and his ridiculous demands. It doesn't always have to be about a woman; it can be other people in general. And yes, I recognize that not everyone has the same upbringing and examples and whatnot. But my original point remains: generally, men have just gotten too freakin' weak. And there is nothing hot about that. 

Or maybe you just have weak moments, as many of us do at times, and it's not necessarily the norm but it still happens way more than it should. If you find yourself giving in more than you want to because you want to keep things smooth and not ruffle any feathers or avoid an argument, I hope you recognize you're not really helping anything in the long run. Because after a while, this will be expected of you. It's like a child who constantly throws temper tantrums to get their way. You've gotta put your foot down and show them that's not gonna work. Same thing with your woman or whoever else. Heck, if arguing is what it takes, argue and get it over with. It doesn't have to drag out forever. Deal with it and move on, but don't concede simply because you don't have the strength to stand up for yourself or you're afraid of them walking out the door if you do. You deserve to be respected just like your woman does. 

*exhaling* So glad I got that off my chest...with that being said, until I tattle next time! #peaceloveandwords