Relationship Posts: Which kind of couple are you?

No doubt we're in the social media age. It's so easy to post stuff, track stuff, be able to communicate with people that you never would be able to twenty years ago, and spread information with the click of a button.

In a lot of areas, this is a great thing. If you're running a business or representing a cause, or just want to get the word out about something, social media makes it incredibly easy to do that. But when it comes to personal relationships, it also makes it easy to over-share.

Of course, this is a matter of opinion. What one person thinks is too much information might not be enough for somebody else. But just speaking generally.

Just how much of our personal relationships, namely our romantic ones, should we share with the world?

I've broken it down into three general categories:

The Lights-Out Couple - You know they're together, but you know very little about their relationship. You almost never see any pictures of them anywhere. Their social media posts consists of everything but their relationship. Sometimes on special occasions they'll post a cute couple pic or give a shout-out, but that's about it. They certainly acknowledge each other; they've got nothing to hide. They just don't care for the world to see their business.

The Teaser Couple - You'll see stuff from them here and there, only on a somewhat-steady basis. Special occasions, like an anniversary or birthday, or just something random. It's just enough to make you wanna see a little more, but you never know when that next post is gonna be.

The Timeline-Flooder Couple - "All right, we get it! You're in love or whatever!" This is the couple that posts all day, every day. Pictures, tagged quotes, GIFs...anything that will remind their followers and friends that they are boo'd up. They are proud of their relationship, and they want to share their joy with everyone. Constantly.

Certainly, what people choose to put out there is totally their prerogative. If you and your bae are on the same page when it comes to that, then go for it.

However, if most of your moments are more public than they are private, it does beg the question: What are you trying to prove? Why do your followers need to see screenshots of your lovey-dovey text conversations? We already figure you talk to each other.

Or tagging them in things on social media to ask them questions that could just as easily be done in a private message?

Or posting pictures of you two in bed, letting us all know you're about to get your groove on (or you just finished)?

Hey, I'm no prude. I love to see people in love. But there are times when I've seen posts that were almost uncomfortable to look at, just because they were so personal. For example, one time a Facebook friend posted a screenshot of him and his woman on Facetime, and it was clear she was topless. Couldn't believe my eyes.

 Look, you're grown; if you wanna get your cyber freak-on with each other, have at it. But good lord, does everybody really need to see that?

I'm sure a psychiatrist could write an entire thesis on why people do this kind of thing. Maybe they were lonely for years and are now over-compensating. Maybe they grew up in a household that's very open and shares everything, and they carry that over into their relationships. Maybe they're coming from a crappy relationship and are so thrilled to be in a good one that they just can't keep it to themselves. Who knows.

But God forbid you break up. Then what are you gonna say? Are you gonna explain why we're no longer seeing the two of you making out in front of the grocery store or are you gonna act like everything is everything? Can you handle the questions about what happened? ('Cause you know folks are gonna ask).

I don't want to be that person that turns what is meant to be a positive thing into something negative. Like I said, if you and your boo are good with posting all of your business, and you can live with whatever comes from it, then that's all that really matters. At the end of the day, everyone has a right to share as much or as little as they wish.

Speaking of sharing too much, well, it's literally in the title of my latest book, When You Share Too Much. Do you have your copy? It's on Kindle, iTunes, Kobo, and Nook. Or you can get the old-school paperback here.

I love ya for reading. Until next week!

10 Things I'm REALLY Bad At

I really believe that everyone is gifted at something. No matter how small of a thing it may seem to be, everyone has something they're better than most at. Myself included.

But there are also things that we're just really bad at. We can practice it, study it, dream about it, take classes on it. We can do that stuff all day. Doesn't matter. We stink.

So I thought I would share with you some things that I am not very good at.

1. Anything to do with math.
- I can do the basic stuff. But if you start asking me to calculate a bunch of problems in my head, you lose me. I'm good with words, not numbers.

2. Making pancakes.
- Seriously. I can just never get those darn things to come out as nice as in the pictures. And I follow those freakin' recipes to the letter.

3. Pull-ups.
- Even when I was at my strongest, I just could not do those things.

4. Writing left-handed. 
- It looks like a kindergartner wrote it.

5. Rolling my tongue. 
- That sexy thing people can do where they roll their R's? Yeah, I can't do that at all.

6. Doing splits.
- I haven't been able to do those things since I was a kid.

7. Learning a foreign language. 
- I've tried, 'cause I would love to be multilingual. But I just can't remember most of the stuff.

8. Swimming.
- I don't get mess with anything deeper than five feet. Don't even ask me.

9. Doing cornrows. 
- And I actually went to cosmetology school. How sad is that?

10. Couponing
- I have read articles, looked at that extreme couponing show, joined coupon clubs, all that. It always ends up being more effort than it's worth. I don't need a bunch of coupons for baby stuff and dog food, which is usually what I ended up with.


I could keep going but I'll end my self-deprecation there.

Is there anything you're particularly bad at? Share them. I'm not gonna laugh.

Oh, and if you want to sign up for my email list, just click right here.

I love ya for reading. Until next week!

Is your BFF giving you the side eye?

Hey y'all. Let's talk.

You might have a homegirl/BFF or best bud that you love and would do anything for. And you're certain the feeling is mutual. Why wouldn't it be? Y'all have never had any major arguments. No falling out. No peanut butter stealing.

And even better, your spouses are best friends, too. I mean, come on...you just can't ask for much better than that.

But...while you might think all is well, maybe your BFF is silently resenting you.

And it doesn't have to be on some malicious stuff, either. They might genuinely care about and love you. But maybe there are some things going on that they can't help but hate on...

- Maybe your relationship is flourishing while theirs has hit a snag. (An extra hit is if your man/woman is hotter than theirs).

- What if your career is booming while they dread going to work everyday? Or worse, what if you don't even have to work while they're counting every penny?

- Your Instagram posts get likes galore with seemingly no effort while they use every trick in the book to garner attention and get almost nowhere. (Yes, people actually get in their feelings about this).

- You're aging gracefully or can eat whatever you want and gain nothing, while even sniffing some bacon has their jeans about to pop.

- If they're constantly getting compared to you, and coming out on the inferior end.

I could keep going. But you see what I'm talking about.

You might not be doing anything wrong at all, but simply because you have something they don't, whatever it may be, they look at you funny. And if it's more than one thing, that snowball starts to build. And it just keeps rolling the more they're exposed to or reminded of it.

Before long, they're ready to explode and you never knew anything was wrong in the first place.

Why not just address it and get it out on the table, you ask? Because they know they're being petty. They know they're wrong for resenting you for stuff that's not your fault. So they keep it to themselves, hoping to just get over it or pray it away. Which doesn't always work.

In my latest release, When You Share Too Much, Anika and Chrisette were best friends. Had been for years. But over time, Anika started realizing more and more ways Chrisette seemed to best her without even trying. All the while, Chrisette thought all was hunky-dory with them.

So Anika started giving Chrisette the side eye; not really wanting but also not able to help it.

Now how long do you think a friendship can really last under those circumstances?

I'm not trying to make you paranoid about your BFF. Just saying...it can happen.

I enjoyed creating this drama for Anika and Chrisette because it's something that can totally be related to. How many movies are there centering around this very thing? Jealousy and envy are poison to friendships.

And truth be told, you just never really know what anyone is thinking.


I'd love for you to read this book because there's plenty going on besides this. It's available in paperback, Kindle, Nook, Kobo, and iTunes. Just click the links.


I love ya for reading. Until next week!

Empty Nests Are for the Birds

It's Saturday night. I have things I could/should be doing but I'm posted up on my amazing sofa, reading a new book on Kindle and half-watching a college basketball game. And ordering stuff on Amazon.

My son is next to me and a I randomly (and often) smother his still-soft cheeks with motherly kisses, which he endures with a tolerant grunt.

It takes me back to when he was a chubby-cheeked baby who would scurry away from me as I playfully chased him, my fingers wiggling as I repeated how I was gonna get him. Then I'd sweep him up in my arms and tickle him and nuzzle his neck. We'd do this ten times and every time, he'd squeal and giggle like it was an unexpected surprise. And every time my grin would be a mile wide because, hey, hearing that laugh just never gets old.

Then it was like time just started to zoom.

Now he's 15, and the days of picking him up and toting him around in my arms are long gone. He towers over me now by several inches. (He doesn't even really like taking pictures with me anymore like this; that started to phase out by age 13 or so).

He thankfully still likes my hugs. And he'll come lay on my shoulder or my leg when we're sitting around the house. But when I go overboard with the affection, he's quick to reward me with one of his signature grunts and groan "Mom!"

It's hitting me that his freshman year of high school is going to be over in a couple of months, and then he'll be a sophomore. Then a junior. Then a senior. Then he'll be graduating and going to an out-of-state college.

Oh god!!!

I'm not ready for that and I know it. The thought of him packing up his things and going someplace where I won't see him everyday bums me out, regardless of the reason for it. I'm certainly not one of those parents that can't wait for their kids to leave the house. I love having my son here. Heck, I hate when he's gone for a weekend.

*deep breath*

I know it probably sounds like I'm one of those mothers that's overly attached their sons. I'm not. Do I love my son immensely? I absolutely do. But my life doesn't revolve around him and him only. When the time comes for him to go off to college, I'll deal with it.

But I'm not gonna kid myself and act like it's going to be a piece of cake, either. I won't be dropping or sending him off one minute and planning a freedom party the next. There will be some tears. I already know.

So that just means that I'll have to try to pry him away from YouTube long enough to squeeze in as much quality time as I can before then.

I'm kinda dreading the empty nest. Who knows where I'll be by 2022. I could be in a different career (fingers crossed), in a different house, married. Or all of the above. Doesn't matter. I'll still want my son here.

But, I know he'll have to grow up and live his life at some point. He can't stay here with me forever. And hopefully he won't want to; I want him to be independent and take care of himself, and I'm preparing him to be able to do just that.

And I'll have to ask some friends and family how they dealt with the empty nest syndrome.

I'll still remember chasing him around the house and grin when I think of his cute little baby squeal when I caught him, though.